Xtian Poem: Our Lot on Earth

Monday’s Toil 

Back to work, our lot on earth
To toil away, forestalling Mirth
Till Monday’s efforts bring Friday’s worth
It’s back to work, our lot on earth.

My Top Three Mantras for the Workplace

1. Every day is a Job Interview. Always display your best stuff. 

2. Always work in such a way as to be the Most Valuable Player on your Team. Build your ‘Net Worth’ in the eyes of your Coworkers and Management.  

3. Never stop Learning. Never stop Growing. And Never stop Working. Keep moving Forward.


Xtian HaiKu: From Life to Life

The Revenant

Having lived a life

Which was not my own living,

Found I’d lived without.


“The fool hath said…”

You know that feeling you get in an empty room when you just know someone else is there, watching you… waiting for you to find him? Then the feeling when you discover you’ve been alone all along?

Does your foolishness at the latter invalidate your wonder and curiosity of the former? A life ‘lived’ but somehow stuck in limbo, dependant on one who isn’t, in the final analysis, really there to begin with?

The Bondage of ‘Freedom’ 

I wasn’t really dead, per se… and I wasn’t truly living my life either. As a Christian, we believe that coming to Faith in Christ is a Spiritual New Birth, a type of going from spiritual death to New Life. But in reality, it’s like going from life, your own life, to Death… because “the life we live is not our own”, but that of Jesus living in and thru us.  

For me at least, realizing that there was no true evidence for the Truth of christianity was like dying again. Dying to my ‘old self’ in Christ and putting off the outer ‘Garments of Praise’ to a Jesus god portrayed in the New Testament who never existed in reality, a realization that the Life I had lived instead of my own was not really life, but simply a bondage and human sacrifice play provided by an ancient ‘death cult’. 

Truth alone is the Two Edged Sword

Coming out of Christianity was for me coming out of Death and into New Life, a life  that had been cut short by the sharp Circumcising Knife of Christianity.

I am The Revenant as well as The Recovering. I am no longer bound by the Freedom falsely called. I am Free, I am my own, and I am “he who was, and is again, and is yet to come”. 

Life unto Living

I once lived, then “Lived”

I once ‘lived’, now Live again.

As one from the Dead. 


Come join me in the Recovery. 


Shared from WordPress: Kintsugi

​You all must really check this one out

Sorry, I changed the image. 

An Amazing first post from a new WordPress Blogger on Recovery from Christianity,  Brokenness and finding our true value and worth as part of the greater universe around us. 


“As Christians, we spend our entire religious lives learning the art of self-hatred”

That is Truth about “The Truth”. But this is Real Truth

“For the ex-Christian, it is vital that we not only discover, in the aftermath of our deconversions, that we have an incredible power as individuals, a power we were never taught to use and denied knowledge of our entire lives, but that we also learn to put it to use. It is the power of thought. The impact our thoughts have over ourselves, our points of view, and the way we interact with the world around us. We must unlearn the unnecessary weight given to our mistakes, and in its place learn the value of our hearts and minds and intentions. These things our are gold and silver. The lessons we learn from our choices and mistakes are what will help to mend our cracks in time.”

Fear not, Dear Heart… Recovery awaits. Embrace it!!


Xtian HaiKu: Tele-Ironic

“… but don’t ever leave”


The phone rings again

Been so long, can’t remember 

Sorry, wrong number


It’s not their fault if we haven’t told them, but it’s still sad that people we were once so close to and felt community with as Family in Christ almost never call or communicate with us. One family who once hosted a home group we were involved in lives just down the street from us. They haven’t spoken to us for several years after we left that church.

“The only reason Christian friends call us now is having misdialed or wanting us to go to their particular church.” -kia   

For us, this has been the toughest thing about Deconversion from Christianity. I was once the outgoing, make a friend anywhere, never unable to find community kind of guy. I loved people, loved serving them, loved teaching and encouraging them… and they loved me. They loved my wife, who was always willing to listen, pray for and with, laugh and cry along side anyone who had a need. Community meant so much more to us. The Family of God and our church was our home. 

Since leaving Christianity behind, we’ve tried to recapture that sense of belonging, that closeness in relationship with others, but it’s not the same. Sometimes I think that feeling, however authentic or artificial it is in the final analysis, is part of why some Christians stay in the church atmosphere beyond the ‘Best by Date’ that they know they should leave. 

It’s one of the most intoxicating and comforting reasons to stay, and in my opinion the most soul crushing and gut wrenching things when you leave. 

But as my quote, prompted by a real phone call this morning says… more often than not, it’s  just not Reality. Friends and ‘family’ who ‘love’ you and ‘Fully support’ you when you are there with them, reinforcing the shared community experience… are often the last to be ‘with you’ or even think or care about you when you aren’t.

Call me maybe?

“… oh, I’m sorry. I misdialed.” >Click<

This is the toughest part of choosing reality over the comforting myth. We still choose Reality every day.


Watch “A Super-Cool #amreading Update!” on YouTube

I love this guy!! I don’t know if it’s the ‘off his meds’ humor or that great beanie.🙂  Believe it or not, the guy actually is very erudite and well read due to his professional reviewing, editing and writing. 

We found him a few months ago thru another bunch of videos on channels called Book Tube who were complaining about his Points of View on books, readers and ‘Some’ YouTube channels that Chronicle their reading habits in interesting ways. 

He’s like my mom was; Opinionated, unafraid and often unfiltered in his views on books and people. Only he’s not over 70 and he actually knows what he’s talking about from a professional, well read POV. Mom only thought she did. Sorry mom😦

Enjoy the day. we’re going for a Kale Smoothie at Whole Foods. 


Xtian Poetry: Of Labels and Gnats

“Oh no he Di-uhnt!?”

Identity Mine

I say “No, kind sir”. You have no right

to so define and draw my lines

of what I may or may not be

by telling me only by what you see

or letting free with ignorant glee

your cutting words thru smiling teeth.

You cannot know the fullest toll

of all that gathers within my soul

the answers gained by questions asked

the ones you plainly seek to pass

un queried lessons behind un removed masks

no sir, you will not take by force from within your blog

that which rests only with whom it belongs.

I would not have my Identity Hacked by one so wrong…

Only The “Recovering” truly “Knows it All” for himself. So please, refuse the urge to Declare another’s identity FOR him. Respect is allowing others to speak for and define themselves, even if you disagree.