CTOTD: “Stockings hung with great care…”

Yes Virgina, work sometimes really Socks…. 

But remember, “everyday is a job interview”. Do your best everyday as if your job depends on that next call. Because it might. Right or wrong, others who may not fully understand the job you do or appreciate fully what you do are in control of evaluating and appraising your work and continued value to the company which employs you. 

All you can do is be responsible for what you do and how you do it each and every day, on each and every call. Let the chips fall where they will, but leave it all on the field and you’ll have a clear concience regardless.

Virginia, aren’t you glad all you have to  worry about is whether Santa brings your Betsy-wetsy Doll?



CTOTD: Light up Frosty edition

… or not as the case may be.

Good morning all you wonderful people. 

Just like you, I’m getting ready to head back to work this morning. I may just be doing it a little earlier than you are, at 4am. Like my cold and snow laden friend here, I’m not really alive yet. His chimney is supposed to be lit up and “jingle bells” or some other Christmassy song should be playing when you hit the hidden button, but alas… that battery just hasn’t got the will to go back to work. 

I guess I could just change the battery if I wanted to open the back of the tie but that would risk having to sew it back up after the surgery and I don’t really want to do all that. So it’s a hobbled and disable Frosty the Snowman today. Maybe I’ll even get to use the carpool lane or the blue parking spaces up front because of it… Nah, not gonna happen.

Have a wonderful day and remember to love your family and friends while they’re here. Because when they’re gone your Holidays may just be a bit less Happy. Like the Frosty tie without his battery. Enjoy.


CTOTD: Red and Green edition

Good morning all. I’m back with a catch up post having missed the Christmas Tie Of The Day Post yesterday. Today I’m offering a second tie that would have posted yesterday had life not interfered. 

Out first is red and green Christmas trees. No yellow at all thank you very much. I think of how fast paced the holidays always are for us at work and then at home with all the end of year stuff and Christmas shopping and preparations. 

Red and green, never yellow.

No time for wait, or even slow.

We work and play, we speed away

It’s either stop or go, go, go.


This is how I feel at work these days. At home, we still have to start our Christmas shopping this year and the tree hasn’t yet been pulled from the garage. Our Sanctuary has become a Snowman Grotto. 

And then there’s Mickey making our day a bit brighter with his Santa cap and robe. Surrounded by falling snowballs. I wore this tie yesterday. Tough day. Hectic day. For various reasons, this season is a real bear to get thru. And it lasts till the end of February, so the new year will still witness my frustration and anxiety about getting everything done as quickly and efficiently as possible while trying to keep as calm and collected as possible and staying as engaged and ‘all in’ as possible with the changes that come up during the process… As they always do. Just pray for me. I’ll need it. It may not help, but it couldn’t hurt.

Thanks again for reading, following, liking and even commenting once in a while here. Have a great day.


Deconversion really is “All about Me”…

Oh dear… Not JB again. Hold my beer

Sorry all, I seem to have missed the Christmas Tie of the Day Post for today.  I might try posting later this evening. But I did just want to share with all you out there, deconverts from Christianity, still Christian or even non/never been Christians something I read this morning from a brother who seems mighty upset and troubled by former Christians like me actually telling others that they are former and why. 

You see, I read this post from “Funny Man” JB and nearly lost my mind laughing at all the strawman argments and false narratives thrown out ‘in defense’ of Christianity by his own special brand of ‘offensiveness’ toward those who have the nerve to tell their stories and share what they’ve learned in reevaluating their allegiance to “The Greatest Story Ever Told”. It was a long post, mine is a bit longer, but take a gander at this dander…

**** from the Christian Comedian and Internet Apologist Extraordinaire… JB ****

When you walk away from Christianity without a good reason, you look stupid. The trouble is, there are no good reasons to walk away from Christianity. So you’re going to look stupid no matter what. Let me suggest a disguise that will make your irrationality somewhat less obvious. “Honesty”. That’s it! Be truthful. Just admit that you don’t want to believe anymore.

Do you know what will happen if you do that? The apologists will leave you alone! If you said, “I choose to believe there is no God…your Christian antagonists would vanish like a mist! There is no argument against such bold honesty. But you need to be sincere! This must be your only reason for leaving. You can’t write lists of intellectual dilemmas. You can’t complain about the “lack of evidence” for Christian doctrine. You can’t preach about how awful Christians behave. You can’t ramble about the superiority of other religions.

And most importantly…

You can’t talk about morality.

As soon as you open your mouth about right and wrong…everyone knows that you’re lying. (Well…not everyone. Other non-religious simpletons don’t have a clue.) Trust me. Everyone ELSE knows you’re lying. And…YOU know you’re lying. We all agree that liars are detestable so…be honest when you leave Christianity. It is your God-given right to turn your back on God. And I’ll hold the door for you! Go! Live life on your terms! Just quit pretending your non-religious status is anything other than self-centeredness.

It’s not of an enlightened revelation. It’s not of a profound concern for the betterment of mankind. You’ve decided to worship yourself. Admit it and you’ll earn a little respect from those of us who’ve decided differently.

**** Now a word from your sponsor… the Recovering Know it All ****

Buckle up cowboy, this is gonna be a long and bumpy ride

I agree with you JB, ultimately my decision to leave my faith of 34yrs, which I served in various roles of avocational ministry for 25 of those was All About Me.  

So tell me again… 

  • what’s your problem with my decision? 
  • And why should you care? 

It’s fairly and painfully obvious that you don’t really care about me or others who have deconverted… Personally. It certainly wasnt “All about YOU”. As if our decisions were somehow reflective of your decision to remain in the Faith and retain your identity as a Christian… That really would be petty, insecure, passive aggressive and insecure on YOUR part.

  • So why do you care that we left at all and have the supposed temerity to actually tell others? 

Are you really that insecure or sensitive in your own faith that just having other people free to tell their own personal stories and reasons for having been Christian, then not now being Christian anymore, somehow threatens your existence or identity or security of your own faith or The Faith as a whole?

So… tell me JB, exactly Who is making it “All about them”?

But aside from these questions… I have some issues with how you have framed or portrayed us and the narrative you’ve tried to lay out in your post, JB and I wanted to address some of them on a separate post… here where we might have others chime in for the discussion… not on your post where just you and “antebellum amanda” will banter back and forth interminably while the echo chamber applauds. Incidentally for readers who don’t know JB’s daughter Amanda yet, she still thinks biblical slavery would be a good thing today and has tried in the past to equate it to Parent/Child relationships. Lol

You first asserted… Ass-erted mind you… that we left Christianity for no good reasons, because “No good reasons exist” to leave Christianity. Amazing insight, but backassward. I’d probably say that having reevaluated the Evidence for and against the foundations and historicity of Christianity and the Gospel message… 

oh yeah, you didn’t much care for people asking for Evidence did you. Tough toenails!… 

I’d say that there wasn’t any “good reasons” to Stay in Christianity and a whole lot of Great Reasons to leave. You just have to be willing to search them out and prepared to accept… I’ll use a word I chose to counter your word “Honesty”… 

REALITY! Yup, that’s it. Prepared to accept Reality

Confirmation bias is a real “Ex-wife” with a capital B. Not that I have one… ex-wife that is. 🙂

It’s not easy to continue denying the existence of Reality outside your Christian Stained Glass Windows while declaring another “Reality” you can’t demonstrate to actually exist. The Problem with your assertion that “there are no good reasons to leave Christianity” is that it’s just an assertion based on your insecurity with others coming to different conclusions based on actual Evidence or lack of Evidence that you have excluded or refused from your consideration… and them being open and… I’m going to use your word here, JB… “Honest” enough to say so. In the final analysis JB…

  • Who the Sam Hell cares if you disagree? 
  • Who the freak are you to tell people what they should and shouldn’t say and not say to “make the apologists leave us alone”? 

Really, It’s really not about YOU, JB at all… Really.

But I agree with you completely… It is all about US. 

Now, that doesn’t mean we’re being somehow “selfish” by leaving a false 2000 year old middle eastern “Death Cult” based on the supposed Human Blood Sacrifice of someone who either claimed or was acclaimed well after his death to be “God in Flesh”… No, that word you would be reaching for might be better chosen… 

Rationally and Reasonably Sane 

…and skeptical of claims that are without Evidence… oh dear, there’s that Word you can’t stand again. 

Newsflash Funnyman: A Disbelief in the Positive is NOT a Belief in the Negative

The next down the list of your assertions JB was that Deconverts from Christianity have “chosen to believe there is no god”. As if…

  • 1) atheists believe THAT there is no God or make the positive claim THAT there is no God… or 
  • 2) leaving Christianity or not being a Christian means you are automatically an atheist.

Neither… REPEAT Neither are accurate at all. 

Let me help you out a bit here JB. I know you went to college. Musta been “Clown College” or something where the Requirements were Elective because you just had to have missed out on such wonderful subjects as…  


Simple Maths and 

Basic English

and Grammar.

First of all, “not 1” does not equal “negative 1”. Not even Atheists put forward either the Positive Claim or hold the Positive Beliefs THAT God or gods do not exist. 

For the same reason you don’t believe Thor exists outside of the Marvel Universe or Clark Kent really turns into a raven haired Kryptonian from Kansas is the same reason Atheist Disbelieve the claims of Christians or Jews or other… in their words… “god botherers”, and I’m going to use that Word you hate again JB, I just can’t help myself… 


They don’t Believe or Claim to know THAT God or gods don’t exist because they are more “Honest”… see I used YOUR word there, happy?… than YOU are. They would never think of either Claiming or Believing something, like Russell’s Teapot or a god for examples, don’t exist… somewhere… anywhere in the vast universe that has yet to be fully explored. They just “Suspend Belief” until such… 


… FOR the existence of Thanos from another dimension is found to be accurate, reliable and demonstrable. They just havent been convinced by people and Apologists like you or your gang that You say we’re supposed to be all hot and bothered about “leaving us alone”. They just want you and yours to do their jobs and “Put up”. You don’t have to “Shut up”, and neither do we. Its called freedom and discussion and exchange ideas. You show me yours… It’s YOUR responsibility.

But the second thing about that assertion you made is that Christians who leave Christianity have become or are automatically Atheists. Not that atheists are bad or evil or that I wouldn’t want to be associated with them… if I actually were an atheist. But the assertion that all deconverted Christians are now atheists by default is rude, demeaning and just plain insulting to millions of non-athiest yet non-christian believers of God and other Faith traditions. Try telling a Muslim or a Jew, or for that matter a Hindu or a person from any other non-abrahamic yet theistic Faith that and see what happens. 

Leaving Christianity makes me exactly one thing… not a Christian anymore. That’s it! 

What I or others do believe about God or gods now that we have “delivered ourselves” from “the Faith once delivered to the saints” is not by default or automatically atheist. For many it is, for some it’s not. But the choices are not only either Atheism or Christianity. 

Last note on that for you JB

if I choose to share that part of myself or my journey on my blog or in the comments sectionmof yours, it will be my decision not yours. Because… and I can’t stress this or agree with you on this enough… it’s REALLY not about you, but it Really is… All About Me. 

The rest of the post was asserting that we as Deconverts are portraying ourselves as having had a “Higher or Better” Revelation or Enlightenment. And that without Christianity we can no longer speak about or judge morality. Nothing further from the Truth. 

All that has changed is that we have rejected and jettisoned a “Morality” that gives the biblical God a pass on his own behaviour and moral standards that we would be guilty of gross immorality for, i.e. 

  • slavery, 
  • murder of innocent children, 
  • women and infants, 
  • and mass murder and genocide of the likes that would make any psycopath blush… 

and jettisoned the “Moral Standards” He has supposedly given mankind, 

  • to rape, 
  • kill, 
  • steal, 
  • lie, 
  • commit genocidal mass murder 

as exampled in the biblical narrative… if only it’s commanded and approved of by God Himself.

Yes, we can speak on and judge morality and moral standards, and because we can we have… “mene, mene, tekel, upharsin”… measured and found the God of the Bible and biblical standards and examples of morality utterly lacking in any sense of Reality or Morality on a whole. And don’t think that it’s just Old Testament…

The Top Hits from Gentle Jesus Meek and Mild for your listening pleasure:

  • Love your Enemy, but Hate your own Family?
  • Bring them before me and slay them because they would not have me for a ruler?
  • And many more…

Oh yeah, and that whole…

“Jesus is coming back to kill most of the populations of the world, blood to the horse’s chests, toss all those who refuse the ‘love gift sacrifice’ into eternal torment and never-ending burning flesh”. 

The Evidence from the Bible, old testament and new, literally testifies of the absolute Amorality and Immorality of the God of the Bible and is ultimately Evidence that such a God or being as He could not exist in reality. 

Jb, and I know you’re going to hate this with a Passion, if you have actual Evidence of such a being actually existing… It’s YOUR job and the responsibility of the Apologists that you say we need to Shut up so they will “leave us alone” to provide it. It’s not our jobs or responsibility to demonstrate or prove that He doesn’t exist. 

You see JB, I don’t want the Apologists to shut up or leave me alone. I want them to do their jobs and actually provide… and here’s that Word again… Evidence that their bold and blind faith and Authority Driven Assertions are actually True. 

And then…

Even if you could, which you know you cant… 

I would have to believe He exist of course… But none of us could ever trust him, capricious and sadistic, malevolent and Ammoral Universal Asshole that He would be. 

  • Tell a man to take his only begotten son up to the top of a mountain to kill him… then “… psych, didn’t mean it… just joking with ya to see if you’d do the most vile and immoral thing you could ever imagine, child blood sacrifice, just becausemi told you too. But we’re all good now. Sorry Abe. “
  • Allow an innocent baby to be born, just to kill it after making it suffer seven long agonizing and painful days, while you watch and entertain yourself with the father and mother’s groveling in the dust at your feet, praying and hoping for a wish that you already know you will not grant… all to cover up for the man who took and raped the wife of another man and had him killed… Because he had the power and Authority over the people so he could.  

“Yeah but David paid by the loss of his son”

  • F**k David, God killed an innocent, sinless newborn baby after making it suffer an agonizing and excruciating seven long days. 
  • F**k David’s loss… 
  • F**k the God who would do such a 
  • f**ked up thing to a newborn innocent baby!!
  • And F**k you for actually defending that Insanity, cruelty and Immorality!!

Even if you could demonstrate that the God of the Bible actually exists in Reality, and you know you couldn’t… 

I’d have to believe He exists, but None of us could ever trust him… and I’d never serve, grovel, beg, pray to, worship or follow such a maniacal, sadistic, murderous bastard again even if my punishment for not doing so was the Flames of Never-ending Hellfire and Torment. 

I have too much integrity… “Honesty” and… “Morality” to do so. 

It really isn’t about you JB. Believe me it isn’t. 

And it isn’t even about your God, although I no longer believe He exists. You are right. It really is All About Me. I’m more moral than your God, and so are you if you really think about it and were willing to reevaluate just who and what you are serving. 

The problem is JB, you put up this passive aggressive, insecure, bullshit attacking Honest people who “Honestly” have discovered Christianity to be a false religion based on lies and unsupported assertions from empty threats of Eternal Punishment and assumed positions of Authority granted from On High because its YOU who want US to Shut up and go away, not the other way around. 

  • You think that us having left Christianity and having the freedom and willingness to say so publicly and on Blogs is “All About you”. 
  • You feel deep down threatened somehow… personally… by people who disagree and have rejected what you still hold to be Truth ™ with a Capital “T”. 
  • It’s you who are being Selfish in wanting others to stop rejecting christianity and telling others their reasons and asking You and the Apologists for what is your job and responsibility to provide if anyone is going to be compelled to believe you…  Evidence

Why not stop telling us to Shut up or trying to change the narrative of what we are actually saying with strawman arguments and bullshit demeaning of calls for Evidence when evidence is what is required… 

and actually Provide some… Evidence that is.

Or in lieu of that, why not start actualy listening to us and considering “Honestly”… your word…, more than just to post idiotic and “humorous”… (yes, I did use air quotes for a reason)… insulting posts. 

Otherwise, as I said before, our decision to leave Christianity or deconvert is REALLY not about you at all. As you said in your post and I agree with completely … 

It is All About Us.

Have a great and wonderful life JB.


CTOTD: “Let it Snow” edition

“Yes Virginia, Santa ate your cookies then left the oven on…”

Frosty would have melted and evaporated by now…

But I’m just Hot about this. I woke up this morning to the kitchen being hot as heck and seeing the light on the stove showing 395 degrees. Yikes!! There was nothing in the oven when I woke up but sure enough the father in law who is staying with us “temporarily” was cooking dinner late last night and forgot to turn it off after. Could have burned my house down, but thankfully didn’t. I wish this was the first and last time he’s done something like this, but…

“If he’s forgetful, he better develop a memory.”

Told the wife to tell her dad that if it happens again he’ll be eating fast food out of a paper bag because he will lose the priveledge of using our stove. I’m sure you all out there will tell me if I’m being too harsh and overreacting. 

All I want for Christmas is my own home back… unburned preferably please.


CTOTD: Santa Balls and Christmas Wreaths

Sorry all, haven’t even tied it yet this morning. But suffice to say, with my purple long sleeve button down… It’s gonna be an awesome and productive day. 

This time of year is our busiest season and year after year I keep expecting it to be more organized, better prepared and for the reps to be fully trained… never happens that way in reality. You’d think after 20 plus years of a company doing something they know will be a huge challenge at the end of the year that there would be some kind of standardized plan of attack or templated structure to the preparation and execution of said plan to work with… but it seems to be ad hoc and by the seat of our pants every year I’ve been there. It’s just something we deal with and adapt to. 

Not everything in life can be planned out or preset for us. For those situations all yiiu can do is find a good sturdy Pine Wreath and swing the stress away… like Santa here on my tie. This is what I will be trying to do until at least February. Enjoy everything in life and work that you can. Never stop trying to contribute your part to make things better. Always stay engaged with the process, the production and the people you work with whatever you do for work. Remember… these things and people enable you to pay your bills and keep food on the table for your family. 

  • Everyday is a job interview.
  • Always work so as to be the MVP on your Team.
  • Never stop working. Never stop learning. And never stop growing.

Stay engaged and flexible. You’ll do just fine. And for those days when it seems all Hell has broken loose… just swing.


Sunday Library Book Haul

We love reading and having books of all kinds on our shelves. The local library here is most happy to oblige is with cast off books for sale to help support its continuance and various programs that are run for the community. 

Today we picked up The Road by Pulitzer Prize winning author Cormac McCarthy, having just finished All the Pretty Horses, the first of three novels referred to as The Border Trilogy.

Also gathered were a historical fiction based on The Borgias, a Sue Monk Kidd book called The Mermaid Chair, you may remember the name from her more famous novel The Secret Life of Bees, and a delightful volume by travel/Francophile Peter Mayle titled Anything Considered about an English expat who quits his career mid life and lands in France… looking for his next adventure in the lifestyle he would like to become accustomed to. 😉

The last is a large compendia of poetry and verse. Classics and classic authors. We have our work and reading cut out for us. For now, we are reading exclusively Christmas books and watching Christmas movies thru the month of December. 

Good reading and keep on thinking.


Finally Friday: Arizona Chill

Sorry, no ties on a friday, just a cup of Joe

There is finally a chill in the air both in the morning when I wake up and during the day. I’m certainly enjoying it after the hot summer we’ve had here in the Phoenix area. My local grocery store worker even commented as I did the shopping yesterday. 

But alas… it’s also the end of No Shave November so I buzzed off the caterpillar under my nose that had been growing all month in support of Mens Health and Prostate Cancer. I now look like the man child I usually am the rest of the year. I’ll wait until tomorrow morning to do the full shave. Saturdays are usually for my straight or safety razor shaves. This week I’ll be using my vintage Dovo from the late 30’s, a brush and bowl, and some luxurious shaving soap from Art of Shaving. Pictures to follow.

Until then, have a Great day and enjoy the changing seasons wherever you are. -kia

CTOTD: Green Thursday Edition

All the Pretty Colored Lights

Yup… that’s a lot of Green. 

Another of my newer ties with my green button up long sleeve shirt for work.  I feel like a Christmas tree lit up for the world to see and enjoy. 

All the colors are reflective of the reading I was doing last night on the diversity of genetic expression brought out by changing conditions and pressures both inside the womb and after birth called Epigenetics. Fascinating stuff that i’m still trying to wrap my brain around so I won’t expound yet on what I’m learning. Suffice to say initially as Jeff Goldblum said in the movie Jurassic Park, “Life finds a way” to not only survive but also thrive and maintain itself with variation and diversity for the benefit of the whole. 

Not sure if there is a Journey Post in all that but there might be. So stay tuned. Until then… have a great day.