Xtian HaiKu: “17,574 days”

My twin brother passed away at the age of forty eight,

two years ago this morning. And I miss him

He never got the chance to see his middle girl graduate nursing school.  I did that for him.

He never saw her walk down the aisle to marry the smart guy with movie star good looks.  I did that for him.

He couldn’t be there with me and our two Uncles graveside to say good bye as my Grandmother, surrounded by lifelong family and friends, received one final expression of gratitude and blessing for all she was and had given to us.  I did that for him.

He didn’t get to celebrate our 50th Birthday this year with an Old Fashioned Barber Shop ‘Straight Razor Shave’. I did that for him.

And even though he met and held and kissed his other Grands before he died all alone in that hospital emergency room, he won’t be there to see his newest born in February. Hopefully, I will do that too. For him.

I gotta admit, he wasn’t always the best Son, Brother, Husband or even Father, but by all accounts, he loved his Grands. He wasn’t always the easiest to get along with in just about any situation imaginable, but he was My Twin Brother and I loved him.

These are my reflections this morning of Life with and Without my brother, Two years on.


Signs in the Heavens

Almost antichrists

that’s what we said to ourselves

two life long twisters


Half an Hour Counts

had my own room twice

top of the hill, on garfield

then when Pam married


Nine Months and Eight years

we were once so close

our choices drove us apart

dad died, we promised


“Left, Left, Left…”

not a Great Father

I was not the Best Brother

Nascar made us laugh



“Hello… who is this?”

“How do I tell Grandma?”

Uncle Mike cries last.


Borrowed Time

I am Half of Two

But there’s a Hole in the Whole

… Heard his voice just now



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