This is how it feels…

Deconversion

From that amazing feeling that you have that everything is going along smoothly. Smooth Sailing. The World is a breeze and everything is in control and understandable thru the Story.

Then you hit the Truth like a boat striking the edge of a painted set flat. Or the sudden realization that the Faith you have literally built your Life and Hopes on is just someone else’s bad Sitcom.

You have a choice to make as your whole worldiew is just eviscerated by the ripping of painted canvass. Do you continue to play the role? Do you stay in the boat and rail against the Director? Do you stay in the Story written for you by people who didn’t even know the earth orbited the sun and not the other way around? Will you choose the comfort of ‘Knowing’ out of fear of the unknown?

Or do you calmly get out of the Boat you were given, step out the door, off the set, and into…

Truth and Reality as it really is?

-kia

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16 thoughts on “This is how it feels…

  1. This is a spot-on analogy. I thought about that movie after my deconversion. What’s troubling is that now I realize that there are so many who know it’s all BS but are either playing along because of the cultural taboo, and consequences of non-belief, or they are deliberately misleading others for filthy lucre’s sake.

    I remember that time quite well, when I felt that intense betrayal. I remember realizing that my trust had been used against me.

    Liked by 3 people

      • “Feeling cheated out of my past. All I could have been or done.”

        I felt that way, too, and grieved a good bit over it, but then I realized that all those unanswered questions I had would have remained unanswered had I not hit the wall of reality. Going through that door changed my perception about humanity in an understanding way. Leaving the boat revealed my integrity, and yours.

        “And that’s made all the difference”

        Indeed. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I think for most people the truth is scare and there is comfort in the “show” they are surrounded with. Their whole support system, their friends and family, maybe even their job is tied up in that show and to step out of the boat could mean the loss of all they know, all they have. I think however unknown the future with out the show, however scary truth maybe, moving away from comfort to truth is a grand sign of trust in your self. I wish everyone who made that choice, made the move in the uncertain world that was out there, the very best. You have my respect. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I might be a bit unusual, but I think I would have preferred to stay in the illusion. The problem is that the psychological benefits of the illusion are no longer effective once you know it is an illusion – so for me the choice is not there.

    The way I feel at present a comforting illusion seems preferable to grim reality.

    I have reflected on why religions arise and persist over human history. There are no doubt multiple reasons, but one of them is likely that religion can provide certain psychological comfort. In my case I was comforted thinking that creator of the universe was looking out for me.

    But now I am faced with the reality that sometimes ‘shit happens’ and it is not part of a greater plan where ‘all things work together for my good’.

    Sigh, Truman did not really have the option of staying in the boat once he knew it was all a charade. You can’t go on pretending when you know it is false.

    Liked by 2 people

    • “But now I am faced with the reality that sometimes ‘shit happens’ and it is not part of a greater plan where ‘all things work together for my good’.”

      I pondered that, myself, Peter. But then it occurred to me that it is far, far better to accept that ‘shit happens’, than to think there’s an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent god who is either instigating or allowing horrific suffering. I get why people feel comfort in believing that some supreme being is looking out for them, especially those who don’t have the support of family, friends, or a community. But even people who do have support still cleave to belief, and I suppose that has more to do with death anxiety and fear of uncertainty.

      Liked by 1 person

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