Xtian HaiKu: Tele-Ironic

“… but don’t ever leave”


The phone rings again

Been so long, can’t remember 

Sorry, wrong number


It’s not their fault if we haven’t told them, but it’s still sad that people we were once so close to and felt community with as Family in Christ almost never call or communicate with us. One family who once hosted a home group we were involved in lives just down the street from us. They haven’t spoken to us for several years after we left that church.

“The only reason Christian friends call us now is having misdialed or wanting us to go to their particular church.” -kia   

For us, this has been the toughest thing about Deconversion from Christianity. I was once the outgoing, make a friend anywhere, never unable to find community kind of guy. I loved people, loved serving them, loved teaching and encouraging them… and they loved me. They loved my wife, who was always willing to listen, pray for and with, laugh and cry along side anyone who had a need. Community meant so much more to us. The Family of God and our church was our home. 

Since leaving Christianity behind, we’ve tried to recapture that sense of belonging, that closeness in relationship with others, but it’s not the same. Sometimes I think that feeling, however authentic or artificial it is in the final analysis, is part of why some Christians stay in the church atmosphere beyond the ‘Best by Date’ that they know they should leave. 

It’s one of the most intoxicating and comforting reasons to stay, and in my opinion the most soul crushing and gut wrenching things when you leave. 

But as my quote, prompted by a real phone call this morning says… more often than not, it’s  just not Reality. Friends and ‘family’ who ‘love’ you and ‘Fully support’ you when you are there with them, reinforcing the shared community experience… are often the last to be ‘with you’ or even think or care about you when you aren’t.

Call me maybe?

“… oh, I’m sorry. I misdialed.” >Click<

This is the toughest part of choosing reality over the comforting myth. We still choose Reality every day.



5 thoughts on “Xtian HaiKu: Tele-Ironic

  1. Jesus said in Matthew 12:20, He that is not with me is against me. (KJV) Unfortunately, many Christians take this to the nth degree and forget all about the other thing that Jesus said (John 13:34): Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

    Ahhhh yes. The Christian way of looking at life … so full of contradictions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Whether it’s self protection or just plain working out of a not so real ‘community’ is an individual thing with them. I tend to lean towards the judgement that it’s not truly ‘community’ and not really relationship that exists in Christian churches who are about ‘relationship’ and ‘community’.
      When we leave, they artificial gets shown for what it really is. BS


  2. KIA, it makes me sad to read this. Complete contrast to the experience we’ve had in church. To give an example: Our ex-Elder showed up at the door two weeks ago. We’ve known him for years and he and his wife are lovely people. Anyway, we chatted for a bit and then I told him that we’d actually had our names removed from the roll months ago. He was a little shocked but still invited us to visit them in their new home. We intend to go. I wouldn’t say that any of our friendships have suffered at all. If anything, our friends at the church (we were members for 38 years) seem genuinely concerned that they did something wrong. . 😦 (Neither of us has said anything about not believing anymore; we’ve just let it be known that it was a responsibility we didn’t want anymore . . . . I know, it’s a cop-out)
    I still think that there are more non-believers in churches than anyone wants to admit.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I would think that if those who once claimed to be your friends stopped being friendly simply because you no longer have the same faiths, they were never really friends nor Christians. Their actions show you are by far the better person. Be well. Hugs


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