“… but don’t ever leave”
The phone rings again
Been so long, can’t remember
Sorry, wrong number
It’s not their fault if we haven’t told them, but it’s still sad that people we were once so close to and felt community with as Family in Christ almost never call or communicate with us. One family who once hosted a home group we were involved in lives just down the street from us. They haven’t spoken to us for several years after we left that church.
“The only reason Christian friends call us now is having misdialed or wanting us to go to their particular church.” -kia
For us, this has been the toughest thing about Deconversion from Christianity. I was once the outgoing, make a friend anywhere, never unable to find community kind of guy. I loved people, loved serving them, loved teaching and encouraging them… and they loved me. They loved my wife, who was always willing to listen, pray for and with, laugh and cry along side anyone who had a need. Community meant so much more to us. The Family of God and our church was our home.
Since leaving Christianity behind, we’ve tried to recapture that sense of belonging, that closeness in relationship with others, but it’s not the same. Sometimes I think that feeling, however authentic or artificial it is in the final analysis, is part of why some Christians stay in the church atmosphere beyond the ‘Best by Date’ that they know they should leave.
It’s one of the most intoxicating and comforting reasons to stay, and in my opinion the most soul crushing and gut wrenching things when you leave.
But as my quote, prompted by a real phone call this morning says… more often than not, it’s just not Reality. Friends and ‘family’ who ‘love’ you and ‘Fully support’ you when you are there with them, reinforcing the shared community experience… are often the last to be ‘with you’ or even think or care about you when you aren’t.
Call me maybe?
“… oh, I’m sorry. I misdialed.” >Click<
This is the toughest part of choosing reality over the comforting myth. We still choose Reality every day.