Xtian HaiKu: From Life to Life

The Revenant

Having lived a life

Which was not my own living,

Found I’d lived without.


“The fool hath said…”

You know that feeling you get in an empty room when you just know someone else is there, watching you… waiting for you to find him? Then the feeling when you discover you’ve been alone all along?

Does your foolishness at the latter invalidate your wonder and curiosity of the former? A life ‘lived’ but somehow stuck in limbo, dependant on one who isn’t, in the final analysis, really there to begin with?

The Bondage of ‘Freedom’ 

I wasn’t really dead, per se… and I wasn’t truly living my life either. As a Christian, we believe that coming to Faith in Christ is a Spiritual New Birth, a type of going from spiritual death to New Life. But in reality, it’s like going from life, your own life, to Death… because “the life we live is not our own”, but that of Jesus living in and thru us.  

For me at least, realizing that there was no true evidence for the Truth of christianity was like dying again. Dying to my ‘old self’ in Christ and putting off the outer ‘Garments of Praise’ to a Jesus god portrayed in the New Testament who never existed in reality, a realization that the Life I had lived instead of my own was not really life, but simply a bondage and human sacrifice play provided by an ancient ‘death cult’. 

Truth alone is the Two Edged Sword

Coming out of Christianity was for me coming out of Death and into New Life, a life  that had been cut short by the sharp Circumcising Knife of Christianity.

I am The Revenant as well as The Recovering. I am no longer bound by the Freedom falsely called. I am Free, I am my own, and I am “he who was, and is again, and is yet to come”. 

Life unto Living

I once lived, then “Lived”

I once ‘lived’, now Live again.

As one from the Dead. 


Come join me in the Recovery. 



14 thoughts on “Xtian HaiKu: From Life to Life

  1. I hope you get to the point where all this detritus no longer matters. Where most sane reasonable beings exist. In a calm and serene environment.

    I understand, although I haven’t been there, your angst of being duped for 30+ years. Either the others will learn, or they won’t. You have a new life, a very supportive internet community, and you owe it to yourself to enjoy your life – short as it may be, because there ain’t no paradise.

    Liked by 3 people

      • Years ago, one of my friends was suffering from stress. ‘Calm and serene K, calm and serene.’

        Ironically he suffered from stress too with their first child.

        Also. Meditation. A tip I got years ago. Plus holding fingers and thumb together. Good energy.

        But still, for those who believe in Jeebus …


  2. KIA,
    I second what roughseas stated in her first comment – true, that. 🙂
    I don’t know if you are familiar with ‘Captain Cassidy’ but she’s been around awhile and seems to be able to capture the essence of ‘fundagelicals’ in her blog entries. Here’s the latest one, and it certainly describes many who seem to zealously wave the Jeebus flag . .
    (I have no idea why all those letters appeared. . .I hope it will link to the one I wanted. . .)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello KIA. I like your post, I like the idea of finding a new trail through the woods after being lost in the forest of religion. The one thing I did not get a feeling for in your post is are you happy? Now that you are free from the shackles of religious blinding, are you happy to see the world more clearly and more openly? Does the knowing the reality around you give you more smiles, more enjoyment than the fake partitions of religious faith? I have not been in your position however I find so much in the world to be joyful for, to find so much laughter in. I think the restrictive binds of religion would decrease the joy of this life, would strangle the full voiced laughter that life it self can bring. I look forward to your thoughts on this. Tanks. Happy hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi scottie. Just back from work. Yes, we are generally happy, life is very different now. Mostly we miss the community aspect of going to church and being a part of a faith family but it’s getting easier. Thx for asking and for your constant encouragement

      Liked by 1 person

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