My Journey pt 9: “Honor your Mother and Father…”: Mother’s Day 1996

My Mother’s Day Regret- May 12, 1996

“… that thy days may be long…” -Yahweh to Moses, Exodus 20

“Dude, But that was the Old Testament. You’re On A Mission…”

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a swordFor I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.” -Jesus of Nazareth to His Disciples, Matthew 10

And so I left anyway for South Korea 

There I was, in LAX Airport headed to Seoul, South Korea for what I thought would be at least 3 months, my Tourist Visa expiry, to the rest of my life as a Missionary to those who were as I was when I was last there, Servicemen and women in the US Military, Bar Hoppers in the Clubs, to the Club Girls trapped in never ending cycles of Prostitution and alcohol/drug addiction and anyone else I could reach as I helped the local churches of my particular denomination Build the Church and Equip the Saints to know God and know His Word.

Graduation to the ‘Big Time’ Missions

For the previous 5 and a half years or so, I had ‘cut my teeth’ on a different Mission Field, the Inner Cities of the Phoenix area, working with kids and young adults in the streets and neighborhoods ‘infested’ with Gangs, Drugs and Poverty. I was not a Vocational Minister but instead, I worked a regular job and did the Mission in my free time. This would be different.

A Snap Shot of Stolen Time 

I had driven to LA with G and C, my best friends on the earth at the time. They were getting my car when the plane took off. Going up the concourse to the Boarding Gate, C noticed a small stand with cards and balloons. That’s the first time it dawned on me that I was leaving my Mom, perhaps never to see her or my Dad again for a long while, on Mother’s Day 1996. 

It hadn’t even entered my mind until that moment that it was Mother’s Day 1996. I was sacrificing Mother’s Day 1996 to the Mission Field. 

(this is where I would have posted the Picture, but won’t)

We thought it was very Heroic, but took a picture of me holding some balloons and a card from the shop, balloons and cards that we immediately returned after the picture was taken, so that G and C could take it to my Mom for Mother’s Day 1996 and show her how much of an Honorable and Godly Man her son was and how much I loved her… 

… by leaving her to go On Mission to love Someone Else with my presence that I withheld from Her on Mother’s Day 1996

Constant Reminder of Dishonor

I can never get that Mother’s Day 1996 back. Mom passed Four years ago last month on the thirteenth, three years after Dad. But I have that Picture on my bookshelf of how I chose The Mission and Jesus over my own Mom on Mother’s Day 1996. We miss her. I love you mom and I’m sorry for all the times I was not there when I should have been. I loved my God, Jesus and other people’s Family more than I loved my own. My Devotion and Mission stole me from my own Mother on the very day she should have been most honored.

My Mother’s Day Regret. 



21 thoughts on “My Journey pt 9: “Honor your Mother and Father…”: Mother’s Day 1996

    • Yes it is. The post was meant to highlight the real world effects of following Christ to the letter as a disciple. Family is soo much more important to me than before my folks died. The years of neglect and dishonor to my parents in the name of obeying Christ and the word of God continue to remind me how brainwashed I was and how much the choice to believe and have faith in any religion affects everything and everyone around you. It’s not just a personal thing. Christianity hurt just about every real relationship I had with those who matter the most, and the “real” relationships and “community” relationships in church dried up instantly when I left a particular church to go to another or most recently not quit going at all.
      None of my church brothers even bother reaching out to me. Any contact I have with the one or two that I still can talk to is initiated by me, and one way.
      For THIS I sacrificed my own family? Total bull shit! As you can tell, I’m still sorting out my feelings and regrets. Thx for the comment and for reminding me that a mother’s love cuts thru even the toughest dishonor

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s just that I’ve read this sort of thing before — the regrets that people have for being so devoted. I think it’s worth reminding you that you did it for altruistic reasons; you felt you were doing the right and proper thing. There was no malicious intent and you felt you were helping. Like many others, it was your way of doing good in the world. You know, ‘the best of intentions’ and all that. . . it in no way diminishes the person that you are – kind, loving, and with honourable intent – and many people probably benefited from your interactions.

        You didn’t need (a) god to be good(and neither does anyone else), though, which you now realize. You is good. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

      • I believe there are a lot of people hurt by religion and fundamentalism. If it helps today is the anniversary of a false accusation I endured. I stayed away from Sovereign Grace but at a high price. That is what drives me. I really enjoy your posts. I read them and am grateful for the questions you ask and pose. They are needed.

        Liked by 1 person

          • Are you speaking about the sword? Matthew 10:34-39? That one verse causes a lot of needless pain. I have picketed a church here in the DC area that has used that verse to separate and destroy families. This church made the front page of the Washington Post. I think the Bible needs to be looked in the historical and cultural context of when its written. I ma still working through a lot of things, but I also think of the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. I would think that would also apply to those in your family. Many fundamentalists like to cherry pick and grab certain parts to justify their beliefs. The Bible is often warped and taken out of context. But I would propose that many evangelicals do that daily. Its why I get some of the emails I do and hear the pain that I do. Its why I advocate that we should communicate more and listen more before acting on anything. But I clash often with many people in my own tribe.

            Liked by 1 person

            • I’m sorry for the delayed response. I was speaking of the division in families that Christ says in the passage quite clearly that he is intending. Have you experienced this as a disciple of Jesus? I have. Many times


          • I like wandering eagle. I’ve spoken to him on the phone a few times and he seems like a really caring dude. The problem is, there is no real way to decipher the bible correctly. Everything is essentially cherry picking because so much of it conflicts with other parts. I think in finally realizing that, one is left with only two choices – abandon the faith for the myth it must be or struggle, banging ones head against the wall for the rest of ones life. Yes, “love your neighbor,” but also yes “family against family,” and also yes “take care of ones family first before others.” Huh? The more the bible is read for what it says, the more the cherries disappear. And all that remains are the pits.

            Liked by 3 people

            • Charlie, I like the eagle too. Gevseems sincere and honestly desiring of change and accountability. There are others like him out there and that’s a good thing. But like you, I eventually saw that the systems were corrupt not just because the leaders were corrupt, but because the whole thing is corrupt. As much as we would like Christianity to be pure and ideal, it’s not because ultimately there is no real truth to its claims and men use the machine to their own ends. Some to good, many to evil and not so good

              Liked by 1 person

            • He still hopes there is a way to reconcile the disparities. I did too at one time. I had to realize it’s not possible. God didn’t write the bible, men did. There is no HS to bring it all together into a consistent message.

              Liked by 1 person

    • Yup. Thx. Just one of too many instances that I chose The Faith over my family. Not because I took verses out of context or twisted them to mean what they didn’t. I lived it out the way it was written and my family took second place. Example teaser number 2: I left my grandmother at the airport to make a ministry appointment with some kids I had planned an outing with at a particular time. My mom had to cross the while city after just getting off work to go pick her up. It was the last time my dad’s mom visited before she passed away. Total dick move ‘for the ministry’

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yikes. And at the time you thought you were a rock star for Jesus. I get it. Karen and I left what was left of my family (most have died as well) to move here to Dallas where we knew no one because “the Lord was leading us to grow in a community at The Village Church.” Yeesh. Now things have changed so much we wouldn’t have the money to go back to NY.

        Liked by 1 person

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