Peaceful evening on the back stoop

A pipe, a glass of red and a nice cool and quiet evening. Work is Hell but Life is good.



“Wise men lay up Knowledge”

In my reader from a Christian brother…

“No apologetics, no arguing, no pleading, no begging, no sales pitch, no coercion…

They were “cut to the heart” because the Holy Spirit moved in them, that is why they knew they should respond.

This has nothing to do with intelligence, reason, or logic and everything to do with just knowing in your heart what must be done.”

What he means by Know is not what it really means to know. I was once like my friend James, Amateur Internet Apologist Extraordinaire.

“Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has; it never comes to the aid of spiritual things, but more frequently than not struggles against the divine Word, treating with contempt all that emanates from God.”-Martin Luther― 

I ‘knew’ in my heart that the gospel was True ™ and that my only hope in this life or the next was to surrender, throw myself at the Mercy of the God who stood ready to condemn me to eternal torture for being born broken and unable to mend myself to His standard.

I ‘knew’ in my heart that there must be a god and if there was, it must be the God of the Bible and His Only Begotten Son, Jesus… the only one I’d ever be told about. Ever. It was decided. In my heart of hearts I Knew. 

But I realized recently that what I knew… I didn’t really Know. What I called knowledge and knowing was only feeling, intuition and Conclusion. I had decided to believe, to take on Faith, what one could never prove to be True in any, to use James’ words, rational, logical or intelligent way based on actual evidence. Because once I started to look into the Reality of the Evidence available for what I had staked the last 34yrs of my life and life plan on, Sure Knowledge became Sceptical Doubt and then Knowledgeable Disbelief… in the ‘Greatest Story Every Told’.

No, I’m not atheist. I’m not a Christian anymore either, not that those two are, contrary to some people’s belief, necessarily synonymous. At least for now I think I’m Happily Agnostic… content in the fact that I don’t know, but hopeful to be shown true ‘Evidence that will Demand a Verdict’ and that evidence will not rely on Knowing in my heart, past the intellect, rationality and logic. To paraphrase, “I will know, even as I am known” the way I am known by those who actually Know me and can demonstrate my actual existence and activity.

I don’t ‘want’ Atheism to be true. I don’t want Theism to be true for that matter either. Wish Fulfillment is for Stars and little children. You see… It’s not about what I want or don’t want, what I believe or don’t believe, what I decide to put my Faith in or not. 

For me now, it’s more about what is Truly True, what can be demonstrated to conform to Reality. I’ve given up ‘Knowing in my Heart’ what I can’t Show or Know to be True in Reality. I’m no longer the Know it All I once thought I was… I’m in Recovery.


“Can we choose to believe what we want to believe?” 

To this question on a blog post by an Amateur Internet Apologist, I would answer Yes. I think the next question james assumes the positive answer for is 

“because we can, are we then necessarily biased or destined to believe what we want to believe, or disbelieve, regardless of evidence?”

Because this is what I think you are trying to imply by your post. You are unfairly and dishonestly trying to imply that those who Believe do so because they want to, aidea by the evidence… and those who Disbelieve do so because they want to, regardless of the evidence.

You weight the argument against the disbelievers but in favor of the believers. I know why you do this. you and everyone who reads your blog knows why you do this. But you simply must realize it’s dishonest and lacking integrity. First, my comment in response that I don’t expect to show on your post, thus this response post on my blog: 


October 16, 2016 • 11:08 am

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

So james. Do you believe in jesus because you want to believe and are biased to believe what you want, regardless of evidence?

“They don’t believe because they don’t want to”

I know what James was trying to do with his post. It’s fairly evident and transparent. In the face of such a dearth of actual evidence and proof for his particular brand of religion, which incidently was also my particular brand of religion for 34 years, he has to find a way to excuse and justify the constant questions and requests for ‘Evidence that Demands a Verdict’ for the Christian Faith coming from those who don’t share his Verdict or conclusions of the veracity of its claims or even the veracity of its evidence for those claims. 

Thus the over worked  and Broadbrush Application of the charge of Bias and ‘not believing because they dont want to believe’. To be fair, just because you site a study where people believe what they want to believe regardless of evidence, does not imply or prove that all people do, all the time, or even that those beliefs are not able to be changed given new information, or that people won’t change their minds and beliefs when presented with that new information if it is infact credible.

Its just another trumped up charge and strawman to explain way why people don’t believe your unsubstantiated claims based on bad or no evidence.  But james… there is a flip side to your argument that I think you are ignoring.

“You just believe because you want to believe, regardless of the evidence or proof against it”

Is this what you were going for, James?

In the final analysis, it doesn’t matter what we want to believe or not believe. It only matters what is true and can be demonstrated to be true. We should want to believe that. That is why Evidence will always beat Faith in being able to determine what is and is not true.


HaiKu on a Sunday Morning: Family Style

The wife wanted to make a HaiKu this morning about Coffee

Morning Tragedy

coffee in the morning

how I need you today

alas, there is none

-The Wife

Now My attempt (‘churched’ up for Prime Time)

Cold Stop

warm, smooth, robust. mmm..

my morning exclamation

“We’re out of coffee!!”


Enjoy the day. How would you HaiKu your favorite flavor this morning? Let me know in the comments below. See what I did there?

At the end of the line

I had time to rhyme

it’s so sublime

you just have to chime…

IN with your own best try. 🙂


Like, comment and follow (if you dare)

while you’re doing those, I suppose

you could also find the time to Share.

Ok, I’m done for realz now. Too much Coffee I guess.  🙂


A Candid answer to a Candid accusation

Once again, someone has claimed that “Hatred for Scripture”, the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, and the “Pride of Life” are responsible for both Rejectors rejecting and Deconverts deconverting from Christianity. Once again, I have had to defend myself and others from false and irrational accusations. 

If you so desire, please visit CS’s Blog for a full heaping helping of his BS. Silliness ensues. Great start to a relaxing Sunday… Not! -kia


3 Responses to Candid observations re. the level of life

  1. KIA says:

    No supposed and incorrectly assumed Hatred of scripture, the old and new testaments, led to my ‘decision’ to deconvert from christianity.
    I found out it just wasn’t true. Honesty and integrity led me to deconversion, cs.



    • ColorStorm says:

      That’s a first mike. Someone saying their own ‘honesty’ surpasses that of scripture. And the ‘integrity’ of a building is in proportion to its foundation.

      Your ‘foundation’ is greater than scripture…….? Hmmm.

      Soooooo, it appears my assessment is correct: the pride of life.
      But tkx for that.



      • KIA says:

        Ah cs, you know it’s not a first for someone to determine the bible not to be entirely truthful or accurate. And it take not Pride or Arrogance to do so. Just honesty and courage and integrity. Have a great day



Watch “Why I am no longer a Creationist complete series” on YouTube

This is a great video series from a  former christian like myself on the failures of creationism and the Apologists who promote it. I once believed and even taught as this person did and read, believed and repeated the words and ideas that are rebutted in the video from the Usual Suspects, the Christian Apologists of the Lie of Biblical Creationism, but like him I woke up to the Real Evidence for Evolution and the Natural World and against the Biblical accounts for the Origin of the Universe and our Earth.

Added this little ditty for good measure and CS’s Amusement

To say with confidence and arrogance that “…God made the stars also” and “just look at the sky and the trees and you will know god made them” no longer suffices when one has been able to see, read and understand actual evidence to the contrary. I hope you enjoy this video and the information it presents as much as I did.


The Only Perfectly Acceptable Answer…

Do you KNOW?

“I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable answer when you dont know something or haven’t fully demonstrated it. 

It’s a much better, more Humble and more Honest option than simply Asserting and expecting others to simply Believe you that you do know… when you clearly don’t. 

It’s also not very Honest to think that just because someone else doesn’t know, and are willing to admit they don’t, that your equally unsupported and boldface Assertion must be accepted as True ™ by default unless it can be proven False.

Evidence, logic, reasoning and Truth doesn’t work that way. Try again.


Apparently, It’s happened again… “We are the Matador”

A matador suffered severe injuries after he was gored by a bull and dragged around the ring on its horn. 

Experienced bullfighter Sergio Flores, 26, was speared in the armpit and tossed in the air by the rampaging animal during a performance in the city of San Luis Potosi, Mexico

He was carried around the ring for nine seconds as helpers frantically tried to rescue him after the 500kg bull’s horn became lodged under his arm.

Now a word from our Sponsor, Kia.

  • “Rampaging animal”? 
  • “Experienced Bullfighter”? 
  • “Performance”?

Sounds like the paper is making this cold blooded killer into a freaking Martyr for the “sport” of repeatedly stabbing, torturing and eventually killing an animal whose only crime is wanting to live. When will this Brutal, Sadistic, animal abusive and murderous ‘sport’ be finally put out of IT’S misery? There is no greater Hell awaiting anyone who would torture and Kill an animal in the gruesome and disgusting ways that these ‘Matadores’ (literally in Spanish… ‘Killers’) do. 

The final insult to the Bull who was eventually killed…

“It was not clear if the bull was injured.”

They get what they deserve as far as I’m concerned.

The matador may have gotten a quicker more gruesome death, but when we eat animal flesh and consume their secretions (milk intended for their babies) and ovulations (eggs that are intended for their reproduction), both science and medical histories tell the story that we still “Get the Horns” in the end health wise.

Most of the top chronic health issues, including the very tops of heart disease and cancer, are directly related to our raising, killing and eating animals for nothing more than tradition and culture and “what we’ve always done”.

So if you are horrified by the thought of bulls being bred, raised and trained for our amusement and finally tortured and killed… if the thought of a matador (literally translated in Spanish as a ‘Killer’) being gored to death by the bull he was intending on killing, just remember…

We are the Matador. We are the Killers being Killed by our Traditional practices of Animal Agriculture and eating Animal Products.